Do you find yourself stressed over a boss or co-worker’s actions? Has your workplace become a place of internal and external conflict for you? Do you over-give, with little appreciation in return?
When we are struggling with the above issues, we are in the realms of bullying, conflict and mistreatment at work. Our focus tends to be on other people’s ‘negative’ actions. Disappointment, feeling unappreciated and stress become daily feelings and we start to fantasize about throttling the boss, jacking the job in or winning the lottery!!!
What do you think? Is the solution to this out there or within you? Our professional self-beliefs create our career experiences. So if you are suffering with confrontation, bullying and mistreatment at work – YOU are the one that has the following ingrained belief systems and learned behaviours:
a) Self belief(s) of “I’m not good enough”, “I’m not equal to” or “I’m not worthy of respect”
and/or
b) Habits such as over-giving, fear of confrontation, victimization and lack of internal approval
When we hold these beliefs and behavioural patterns, we become fodder for the bullies in the corporate world. When we emit these powerful negative vibrations and flaky habits, we attract a natural disrespect in others. Where there is cause, there is always an effect. Where there is weakness and vulnerability, there is always a negative reaction to that.
Our emotional vibrations and behaviours will attract others to treat us in either respectful or disrespectful ways.
What is great news is that your dysfunctional experience at work CAN be changed. It can be changed into a flowing, creative, respectful, happy and dynamic experience. Here are some solutions to bring about change
- Recognize AND forgive the fact that you are over-giving (to feel indispensable / to gain external approval), allowing mistreatment or criticism (due to fear of losing the job), believing others are more important / more respected / more intelligent than you (due to a lack of self worth), engaging in conflict in passive or aggressive ways (due to fear of confrontation).
- Decide to wire-in the opposite, healthy and functional behaviours like saying NO to over-demanding bosses / co-workers assertively, like allowing respect, encouragement and support from others. Be ok with confrontation and job loss. Confrontation is just a discussion, YOU decide if it elevates into a fight. You must believe that YOU are as important and deserve to be respected as you hold just as many skills, qualities and attributes as others.
Practice the above behaviours until they become wired in on a neural pathway level, so they become the NORM. As you do this, work becomes a place whereby you feel POWERFUL, no matter who is in command, no matter who you are working with, no matter how toxic, competitive and egotistical the environment.