“One of the huge imbalances in life is the disparity between your daily existence, with its routines and habits, and the dream you have deep within yourself of some extraordinarily satisfying way of living.” – Wayne Dyer
For years I’ve watched a friend of mine lurch from one project to the next, searching for fulfillment and that illusive approval she craves. While admiring other people living an alternative life-style she describes herself alternatively as vegan, vegetarian, Paleo Princess or fruitarian juice Queen! I never know whether to offer her a coffee or roll out the red carpet. It’s not her choices that occupy her life but rather the lack of consistency and her increasing disappointment at not attaining some coveted lifestyle. Her habits simply don’t support the life-style of which she dreams.
The imbalance between what you want to do and what you actually do causes disharmony in your life.
This absence of balance between dreams and habits may be very subtle. It may manifest itself in the obvious symptoms of heartburn, depression, illness, over-eating, smoking or anxiety, or it could be a quieter uneasiness, a feeling you’re forgetting something. Perhaps you know what the imbalance looks and feels like. It might be when you go through your routines day-after-day-after-day all the while thinking about what you’d rather be doing or doing the complete opposite to what you desire and then becoming annoyed at yourself or others.
Getting in Balance
- Be honest with yourself and acknowledge your feelings and actions.
- Are you focusing more on physical or mental pursuits? Either or both can be addressed.
- Set Goals. Make a list of areas to improve balance. Shorten the list and select the top two or three. Start there. Fight the urge to share your list, it’s for you alone and you do not require the approval of others.
- Set a daily or weekly task list and work through them. If you’ve tried those things before without success, try something different. Be brave!
- Past Glory. See how you succeeded in the past. What was useful then and how can you recreate that fertile ground for success now? What was easiest for you and why?
- Doubtful self-talk or negativity from those we love can stop us in our tracks and keep us stuck. If your ego or negativity is screaming at you, it’s time to take back control. The only real failure is never having a go in the first place!
- Join a group, grab a mentor or hire a coach! Whatever tactic you can use to keep you moving forward, fulfilling your dream one step at a time, do it! Business networking, addict support groups and training partners at the gym all work because of the supportive environment and shared experiences. Don’t underestimate the power of support of like-minded souls.
- Create new habits to support your goals. Try something new every week. Read, share, experiment and laugh. Enrichment of life comes from trying out the new and finding something that fits well.
- Check in. Take a reality check and don’t abuse yourself if you fall off plan. Make a decision, make an adjustment and regularly check back to see if you’re on the chosen track.
- Notice the shift in balance. See yourself becoming closer to what you desire to be by thinking you are already there. Actions follow thought, so think how it feels to be operating in balance at that optimal relaxed healthy state. Move toward it mentally and physically and if you slow down, take a breath and start again. You are on your own time-line.