Deep Down I Feel Vol 04

    Confide in us your deepest regret, secret or guilt and feel lighter! You can write to us in complete anonymity too or with pseudonyms. We care… Send us your writings in about 300 words.

    A first love always occupies a special place.

    She was my first love. We studied in the same school and I fell in love with her the first time I saw her walk into the classroom when we were in Grade 8. I would often lose my concentration watching her intently listening to the teacher. She was breathtakingly beautiful and had captured my heart completely.

    My best friend was also in love with the same girl. However he was very shy and could never even greet the girl like any other classmate. I did not tell my best friend about my feelings. Since I loved him a lot, I decided to sacrifice my love for him and one day I went and told the girl about his feelings for her.

    They both started being friends after that for many years , and when they came of age, their families got them married. However, things changed after marriage and I was shocked to come to know that my friend has turned an alcoholic and occasionally resorts to physically abuse his wife and being rude with her. I saw her recently at a party and though she tried to look happy, I could see the unshed tears in her eyes and the unmistakable sadness in her face.

    Today, I regret having sacrificed my love for my best friend. If I would go and tell the girl about my feelings, perhaps she would have had a better life with me, and be a happier woman because I would have never caused her any sadness. I still love her with my heart and have decided to remain single all my life because I cannot give any other woman that place of adoration that I hold for her.