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Deep Down I Feel Vol 05

Confide in us your deepest regret, secret or guilt and feel lighter! You can write to us in complete anonymity too or with pseudonyms. We care… Send us your writings in about 300 words.

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I am a teacher with several years of experience and having been in the profession for several years and growing up young children for several years, I always prided myself in knowing the nature of any student by a single look at him.

However, one experience in my life not only changed this notion that I had about myself but also had a lifelong impact in the life of one of my students, and I have been bearing the guilt most painfully.

It was the final examination that Grade 9 was writing in order to be promoted to Grade 10. The last exam was History and everyone was intently doing their test.

Suddenly I heard some scuffling of papers and mourners at one corner of the classroom and when I turned to see what’s happening, I found some papers change hands. When I went near them to check what the matter is and to my shock, found a few torn pages of a book peeping from under the examination copy of one of my most diligent students! I was shocked and while one part of me told me that this boy certainly could not have resorted to such a wrong action, another part insisted that I be neutral, just and fair and follow the rules to punish him.

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I suspended him from the exam and that made him lose a year. But later on I got to know that those torn pages from the History text were inserted under his examination sheet stealthily by a group of boys in the class who were jealous of this bright student.

There was no way I could undo my mistake. Because now, the student has already turned into a demotivated, rowdy student who has lost all respect of truth and sincerity. I have never been able to muster courage to personally apologise to this boy, I take this opportunity to do so in this forum. If you are reading this, dear son, forgive me for not trusting my inner voice that told me you are a good human being. Thank you BTW for giving me a chance to say ‘Sorry’.

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